Losowe angielskie dowcipy
Money for panites ->
There is a girl walking up the stairs in a church one day. As the priest is walking by, he looks up and notices that this girl is not wearing any panties. The Priest calls the girl and gives her $20 and says, "Little girl, take this money and buy... [ca造 ->]
But I'm not a Giants Fan... ->
Two boys are playing football in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dogs collar and twists, breaking the dogs neck. A reporter who was s... [ca造 ->]
For Chocolate Lovers ->
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want. The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate hom... [ca造 ->]
Ways to tell someone they are goofy! ->
Politically Correct ways to tell someone they are goofy: A few clowns short of a circus. A few fries short of a happy meal. The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead. All foam, no beer. The butter has slipped off his pancake. The cheese sl... [ca造 ->]
Yo mama's so fat ->
Yo mama's so fat, when she went to school, she sat next to everybody! Yo mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she REALLY sits around the house. Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a "Malcom X" shirt, helicopters land on her!... [ca造 ->]
Name That Capital ->
A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a dumb blonde. Her friend tells her "go do something to prove them wrong! Why don't you learn all the state capitals or something?" The blonde thinks this is a great idea, and locks... [ca造 ->]
28 ->
Worlds "shortest" books! 25. MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS - by O.J. Simpson 24. THE ENGINEER'S GUIDE TO FASHION 23. TO ALL THE MEN I'VE LOVED BEFORE - by Ellen DeGeneres 22. THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN REALITY AND DILBERT 21. HUMAN RIGHTS AD... [ca造 ->]
Smart Kid! ->
A farmer is sitting on the front porch of his house one hot summer day, when this kid comes walking down the road carrying a big bundle of wire. ??Hey kid!? the farmer says, ??where ya goin?? with that wire?? ??Well,? the kid drawls, ?... [ca造 ->]
The woman on the bus ->
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said, "MAN, That is the ugliest baby I've EVER seen!" In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. She fumed for a few stops and starte... [ca造 ->]
HillBilly Memories ->
There was a reporter from the city stuck in a small mountainous town in W.Va. He decided to use the time by getting a good story to submit to his boss. He saw an old man sitting outside a local store and went over to begin the interview. "Sir, I a... [ca造 ->]
Actual Court Sayings! ->
30 things people actually said in court Question 1. Q: What is your date of birth? A: July 15th Q: What year? A: Every year. Question 2. Q: What gear were you in the moment of impact? A: Gucci sweets and Reeboks. Question 3. Q: This m... [ca造 ->]
Low Sex Drive ->
An extremely old man visits his doctor and tells him, "I need my sex drive lowered." The doctor, incredulous, says, "What?? You want your sex drive _lowered_??" To which the old man replies, "It's all in my head; I need it LOWERED!"... [ca造 ->]
The Shrine ->
One day 3 men went to a shrine to ask the Father for forgivness. The first man went to the Father and said: " Father, Father I have sinned!" Father: "What have you done?" The first man:" I have lied!" Father: "Drink the Holy water and you will ... [ca造 ->]
Men Are Like....... ->
Men are like....Laxatives. They irritate the shit out of you. Men are like....Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are. Men are like ....Vacations. They never seem long enough. Men are like....Bank machines.Once they withdraw they... [ca造 ->]
Name It ->
After a hot, hard day's work Joe went into a bar to quench his thirst. He walked up to the bar and asked the bartender for a beer. The bartender replied "There's one thing every man has to do here before getting served. You have to tell me the nam... [ca造 ->]